Giant goat boobs AKA Precocious Lactation

Another goat story-remember when I bought the two goats, one was called Topo Gigio? Of course you do. If it isn't a strange enough name, Topo Gigio was actually a mouse! Well not really because he was imaginary. Anyway, awhile after I got her, her utters got huge. I called one vet and he said, "maybe she is pregnant. I can come out and do an ultrasound." While it would have been embarrassing to have an unmarried pregnant goat, I denied the offer. What did he think I was going to do-have an abortion or send her to a Catholic home for goats???? So I got a new vet!

Topo was an angry goat before the giant udders, but this made it worse.I called the new vet and told her about the issue and asked if maybe some kind of hormone treatment would help. She said no and not to worry about it. But they got so big and were dragging the ground, so she said she would come take a look. When she came, she was incredulous. She had never seen anything like this. I was so proud (not). She diagnosed her with precocious lactation and recommended a bilateral mastectomy. She said if Topo didn't have one, she would either have a severe bleed or get an infection where they dragged the ground. This all seemed perfectly rational to me at the time--writing it now is rather embarrassing!!!! She was so concerned that she didn't feel that she could handle the surgery and that I should take her to Ohio State. OMG-I can't believe I am telling you this. Why does this make any more sense than taking her to a Catholic home for goats?????

So I made an appointment at Ohio State. I put her in a dog crate in my Ford F-150 and drove her to Columbus. Just like having medical students and residents paraded into a patients room because "you gotta see this," it is the same with animals. Veterinary students came from all over to photograph this goat. I left her there for the attending veterinarian to see later. 

That evening I got a call from the vet. He said he had done many of these but had never seen anything like this. He was concerned she would not survive and was sure that she would require a few days in the ICU. He wondered if I wanted to discuss it with my family!!! OK-why is this any crazier than me taking her there???? At that point I started to be very concerned about the cost. I asked him how much and anxiously awaited his response. He said, "this could cost between 300 and 400 dollars." My response was, "If I need a mastectomy can I come to you???"  

So Topo survived her breast reduction and went on to live a relatively long, angry goat life. No reconstructive surgery was required. 

I have decided to make this a monthly blog. While I have plenty of stories, I can't take the time every week to write one. So, see you next year!! Have a great holiday. Anytime you question your sanity, just read my blog to know there is at least one person crazier than you!!